Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Skinny Folk Know Nothing

Yesterday, in well contemplated act of desperation, I asked my Doctor if there were any decent diet pills on the market. She wouldn’t even close the door to have the conversation. “They’ll help you to lose about 5% of your weight and the weight comes back as soon as you stop. If you want to talk further, you’ll have to schedule an appointment, like for next week because I have other patients waiting for me.”

Yea, like me, you skinny $*^#!. I’m the one with the scheduled appointment, and you couldn’t even close the door to talk with me. She came back a moment later, calmly apologizing because she assumed that I’m a walk-in – like there is some kind of stigma with being a walk-in. No, this time I really thought about it – I made the appointment. I don’t want to get a legal high, I just want to lose weight. And she brushed me off like I was homeless without insurance trying to get a fix.

She feigned compassion and concern as she discussed portion control, group diet centers (like Weight Watchers) and Slim Fast. On one hand she trashed the Atkins movement – the reason people lost weight was that there was nothing for them to eat. Until everyone started making low carb food, dieters could eat then they could eat again, and no one could lose weight. The Atkins’ empire is now bankrupt. On the other, she recommended grabbing a Slim Fast for a meal. Hmmm – really? That's sensible. She described the new American plate to visualize portion control. Really, I’m a professional dieter, not like I ever stuck to anything. But I’ve read everything and of course, I know everything. She talked about walking everyday (dismissing my knee, hip and heel spur issues) and then picking up a sport that I’ll really enjoy, like tennis (continuing to dismiss my knee, hip and heel spur issues). At the end, just like a good sales person, she asked, “well, Dominique, how does this sound to you?” Great. “Good, what can you work into your life today?” Gee, Doc, that part about tennis just sounded swell. I think I’m going out to buy my skirt and sneakers today.

Honestly, within the first few sentences of her discussion, I pleaded that whenever I attempt a sensible diet, like Weight Watchers, I become so obsessed with food, that I tend to gain weight. She took out a card from her breast pocket, “then you need to talk with this shrink so you can get that worked out.” I think that was about the most sound advice she could offer. I was so choked up with the realization that this is what I really need, that I had to tighten my throat and stiffen my lip to make it through her remaining trite lecture.

Damn these enlightened doctors. What happened to the day when they wisked out their prescription pad and doled out the narcotics on demand? I was really hoping to keep my issues at bay and let a little speed melt the pounds off.


  1. Yeah, my husband let's me take his adderal if I need to to get some things done around the house like for a big party- and man that stuff is a great appetite suppressant. Good thing I've never been able to develop any other addiction than the one I have with food!

  2. Hey Girl;
    As a fellow fat freak, I hear you loud and clear. I too, have taken the pills route. Put me on something called Xencial. Nasty, nasty stuff!! If you eat anything at all with fat in it, even hidden fat, you are on the toilet for the next two days. Of course you lose weight, you either crap it out, or stop eating, for fear of ending up on the toilet all day.

    Needless to say, I have finally figured out, that route is not going to work. It may help for awhile, but when you stop, all the weight comes back on.

    As for Slim Fast, it does work, providing you are willing to starve in between meals. The whole shake thing doesn't fill me up one bit. By the time I could have a real meal at supper, I could have eaten a horse!!

    Regarding WW, my sister has been on the program since Oct. She has lost a total of 40 lbs, but there are a few drawbacks. Number 1, super expensive, No.2 she says it is really hard staying on the whole points thing at first. But once you get used to it, I guess it works quite well. Unforunately for me, not in my price range.

    So, I am resigned to the old fashioned way, watching what I eat. For me, really difficult, as I am an emotional eater, and no matter how i feel, food is always my reward.

    Didn't mean to write a novel, but came across you on Tough's site. I have been writing to her for awhile, and am glad to see she has others going through the same thing we all are. Check out my site if you want, you will see, that my weight is also compounded by my depression. I can use all of the positive I can get.

  3. Hi Crazy Lady and Holly.

    Thanks gals, I love getting comments. Besides food, it seems my ability for addiction has waned with age (or maybe it has just all transferred to food). As a young 20 something, loved experimenting with anything narcotic. Does child rearing really change a body that much, because now, I just feel weird? Tried one of my husband's Percosets (sp?) for some back pain, and just felt lightheaded and fuzzy all day. Not a pleasurable sensation.

    Regarding Weight Watchers... It's helped me in the past when I've gone to meetings. I'm strangely susceptible to group support. Thank God I haven't been sucked in by any cults, yet. I agree, it is expensive. I'm doing the online version, now, but the umph just isn't there. My mother is a big fan of Overeaters Anonymous and it's free. While they'll help you out with a food plan, they really focus more on the psychological aspects of weight issues. I've been to a few meetings and it delves much deeper (only if you let it, of course) than just counting calories, or points, or carbs, or whatever thing you're on. In the past, I ran scared. But an older, wiser, me whispers, come on, give it a try. I kind of have been rationalizing that I've been creating the same thing in this blog universe.

    PS: Farm Girl is my alter ego. I often forget to log back into myself. You can check out my other site at www.tryonfarm.blogspot.com. It's just begun, but hopefully will turn into a creative venue for this group of people that I share a farm with.

  4. I just read your comment on TT's site. I have to say, I think you have hit the nail on the head. I find that my eating is a direct result of my emotions, as I've said before. Getting to the root of the issues, will go a long way to resolving the weight issue, as well.

    For many of us, our weight is a way of dealing with all of the crap that we have choose not to deal with through the years. Instead of trying to work through it, it is easier just to eat, and hide behind the extra lbs. At least in my case.

    I started working on my unresolved issues really seriously in Jan. So far, no loss, but I really feel that once I am alright with me, and who I am, and deal with my past, the weight will come. I guess you just can't work on everything at once.

    Hope it works for you.