Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Off My Arse

A couple of weeks ago I found myself sitting on a barstool with a friend. We had just come from the opening of an interesting photography exhibit. I was all jazzed up over the images we'd seen and soon our conversation turned to me lamenting over all the things I want to do with my life. This is nothing new. I have ideas. I have regrets. There are many, many things out there that I find passionately interesting but seldom take the first steps to act on them. Somehow laundry, driving my daughter to and from school, food preparation, dishes, etc. always takes precedence.

Finally she stopped me and asked, "What the hell are you waiting for? Why don't you just sign up for a class?" Any other day, that kind of abrupt force would bring me to sniveling excuses. But then I felt bold (may have been the wine) and said, "Yeah, okay, I will." And I did. In fact, I extended my daughter's school day by an hour and I'm taking classes every day.

This is my first week. My housekeeper just quit for a better job. My toilets have orange rings forming in them. The dishes are piling up. I'm wearing something that I would only wear when ALL of my clothes are dirty. And in a few hours, I will find myself enclosed in a dark and dreary cinderblock classroom with kids half my age and an instructor twice my age. I love it.

Friday, January 20, 2006


I've joined Weight Watcher's this week. First order of business (after paying for membership) is to weigh in - like cattle. How appropriate that the scale was tucked away in a back closet. At home, my daily step-on-the-scale is as essential to my morning ritual as peeing and brushing my teeth. Between home and the ww closet, I'd managed to gain six pounds.

Before recalibrating my scale, I tried this little experiment... shoes + socks + jeans + sweater + bra + underwear = 3 pounds. Is it possible to consume 3 pounds of coffee?

The meeting was a little goofy with the star stickers and stupid slogans, but I was happy I went. It felt it comforting.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Things to do in New York

As I was catching up on my Sunday reading (on a Monday morning), I came across this little gem. A little dated, but from glimpses at East Bank's locker room, hardly out of vogue.

Gift idea for the hubby? Ouch!

Sunday, January 15, 2006


The Short: My vision has been corrected. Well, mostly, it is still slightly blurry. Not blurry that I can't see well enough, but blurry as though a soft filter has been placed over my eyes. Kind of like watching Barbara Walters on tee vee. Everything has that soft, slight glow as though all the harsh edges have been removed from the world.

The Long: Little more than a week ago I went in to get Lasik. Really, PRK, a procedure similar to Lasik (it still uses a laser only the surface of the eye is ground down, reshaped and is left raw and exposed) with the added enhancement of CustomVue. With that as my description, it makes me wonder why I went in for it at all. It is not as painful as childbirth, and initially it is far less painful than laser hair removal (I'd be the bearded lady, otherwise), except with the hair removal, it hurts at the time and then it's over.

Prior to making my first visit, I already had considerable confidence in my doctor and his practice at Kraff Eye Institute as I had a referral from a friend who is very, VERY discriminating. Without boring you all to tears, they were friendly, efficient, and Dr. Kraff's straight forward, no-bull/no-salesy consultation confirmed my research. I signed up, even after gulping at cost.

I was scared to death the day of the procedure. Not necessarily because my eye balls were about to be manipulated by laser, but because I'd still had leftover agita from that horrid stomach virus. What if I had to race to the bathroom while the laser was on? Would my vision be destroyed forever? Moments after taking my Valium, I knew that wouldn't be a problem. There were two people ahead of me and another in the chair. I could watch if I wanted. George read the paper (much like when my daughter was born) and I figited.

When it was my turn, I took my place in the hot seat. Drops were put in both eyes. More drops. My lids were taped open and I was told to relax. Even with the Valium, my fists were still clutched. I was instructed to focus on a blurry red light while there was some fussing and prepping. Then there was a hazey purple light, an acrid smell, and suddenly the red light came into sharp focus. Wha la! Vision. It was the same for the second eye. It hurt more when they pulled the tape off from around my eye. I moved into a small room where I was given more drops, dark sunglasses and instructions for the next few days.

With the PRK, it could take from 3-7 days for the initial recovery and up to six months for it to stabilize. I was hoping for 3 days, but it was more like 6. I was sent home with some pain medication which I didn't think I'd use. However, after returning home and the drops and Valium wore off, I ran about in a blur to find that precious bottle. Whew! Later that evening, while chatting with my mom, I was ecstatic at how well I could see.

Day Two: I awoke with a little more fuzziness. At my checkup, my doctor told me that my vision would get much worse before it got better. I returned home and slept most of the day. Indeed the world became increasingly blurry each time I awoke.

Day Three: I continued to sleep, a lot, and took my pain medication exactly as prescribed. I had the horrid realization that my last pill would only cover me until noon. Just as well as my bowels had nearly stopped functioning and, well, it had been three days since they'd moved. My eyes burned and itched for the remainder of the day.

Day Four: My eyes could barely open. I began to wonder if having my eyes closed for so long that it might become more difficult to open them again. I cabbed it to my next appointment. My doctor announced my eyes were 95% healed. Impossible, I could barely open them. He explained that as the cells on the surface healed, a ridge forms that refracts the light. The distortion felt as though spot lights shined directly in my eyes.

Day Five: Hmmm, I could see. Too blurry to drive, yet, but I could see, I could see. I removed the protected lens that had been put in my eyes, only to scratch my right eye with my eye drop container. Ouch! No, OUCH!

Day Six: I could see even better. ABC news came to interview Chloe and I about adopting our cat, Lucy. I didn't give them the big Hurricane Katrina rescue drama they had come for so we only got about a 5 second spot. Just as well.

Day Seven: Better still. I drove Chloe to and from school. Night driving would still be a challenge with all the halo's.

My sight continues to improve but ever so slightly. Reading is still a challenge and looking at a computer becomes tiring. I'm almost ready to lose my frames completely. The ones that will have no use with my family or friends will make their way into the basket at the Kraff center. I believe they are then donated. Cool. My recommendation is still too early as I haven't achieved perfect vision, yet. But at this time, I am well pleased.

Oh, and for those interested in Lasik... If you don't need the PRK, I've heard that after the procedure you go home, sleep off another dose of Valium, and then you're done. That's it. Great vision in about five minutes.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Search Engine Results

In the last day, people have searched for:

Potbellies Wreck: Wannashrink was #1 of 828

38b Pictures Bra Blog: #4 of 10,800.

Anna Tits Photos: #4 of 672,893 (whose Anna?)

Last, but not least...

Nude Sister: #4 of a whopping 4,528,128 sites, wedged between “best incest sites” and “Incest video”. (Beth, I promise never wrote about you in the nude, although that story you told me yesterday was awesome.)

I'm afraid a few people may be disappointed when they encounter my site.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Clothing Crises

I'm having technical difficulties with my Power Book, which leaves me totally powerless in a self-help sort of way. So no Self Portrait Tuesday, again. Drat.

On another note, for all of those movie buffs out there, I need help with a title. It's a movie (or was it a TV episode?) and in it someone famous comes to dinner. The mother, or perhaps it was a neighbor, wore her wedding dress. The guest comments, "beautiful dress." She says something like, "you like it? I've only worn it once."

Roz (?) from ABC News is coming to my home tomorrow to film a warm and fuzzy, feel-good segment with my daughter and my cat. Think I can still squeeze into my wedding dress?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

President Bush will be delivering a speech within feet of George's office tomorrow. Gratefully, he (my George) won't be there. He'll be holding my hand while I'm getting Lasik instead.
Now that I know it wasn't the English Toffee that made me ill the last few days, I'm ready to eat the rest of them.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

They won't let me post.

Tonight it is "speed scrabble" and tomorrow we fly home.